Monday, September 20, 2010

Two triple naught Circumnavigation.

In the year two triple naught Chris Howard, Scott Geyer and I ( HarrySpitz) Circumnavigated the isle of Manhattan in Richard Nonas' three man baidarka. We left the Downtown Boat House on Saturday Sept 16 at 7:15am.

O the Ere-I- EE was a risen and the Gin was a getten low.

We embarked on an adventure that will go into the annals of Hudson River history . Almost 800 pounds of man paddling into the unknown. After a week of practice and experimentation we determined that the ideal seating arrangement put Scott in the bow so that we could follow his steady inspiring cadence and to muffle his griping obscenities. Chris steadied the boat by acting as ballast in the center of the boat. While I controlled the rudder from the stern where I could scare Scott and Chris by steering the boat towards every obstacle I could find. The main advantage of this ingenious set up was that Chris and I could both fakeout Scott. We laid back and tanned while Scott paddled us around the island. Every once in a while we would splash the water just to sustainthe illusion. After making it up the East River pushed by a steady current that sped us by the joggers on the running path we came to the Harlem River where the current ran against us. The motor boaters were few and far between and those that we came across slowed as they came near us. We slogged on against our foe (the current) looking for refuge behind every bridge and bend. At last we came to my accustomed rest spot The Suffering Duck, but alas Chris and Scott would have none of it. They were determined to reach the Hudson by 11 am. It was at this point that we all had a simultaneous epiphany. The cane seats and the lashed coamings in the baidarka were excruciatingly painful. Our asses hurt!

What a terrible storm we had one night on the Ere-I-EECanal

At last we came to our first refuge The Columbia Boat House. We hauled out onto the goose crap strewn docks and stumbled to the boat house for lunch and rest. Well the Captain came upon the deck with a spy glass in has hand.

The fog it was so gosh darn thick that he couldn't spy the land

Onward to the Hudson. The chop, waves and wind convinced us to paddle on the Jersey side to avoid the Westerly wind in the shadow of the Palisades. We headed South below the George Washington Bridge.The cook she was a grand old gal she wore a ragged dress. So we hoisted her upon the pole as a signal of distress.It happened opposite the Intrepid. The motor boat slowly passed beside us. The small bow-wave came towards our port beam. "Its nothing keep paddling", I thought, "no need to brace we've handled many bigger waves.No problem."We went right over, 90 degrees to the water. We all agreed that we all simultaneously hip snapped and that the boat slowly righted itself, but after careful reevaluation I have arrived at the only possible explanation. Telekinesis!

The captain he got married. The cook she went to jail.I'm the only son of a gun that’s left to tell the tale.

Back to our home turf. The North Annex of the Downtown Boathouse. Chelsea piers. I aimed the boat right for some pilings "Harry turn right we're heading for those pilings". Ah Scott and Chris what back seat drivers they are. Oh well I guess I was in the back seat.

The Ere-I-EE was a risen and the gin was a getten low. What a terrible storm we had one night on the Ere-I-EE Canal.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Abstract Art????

I just answered this on line query from NSR160

“Dont understand Abstract art.
As the topic say.I realy dont understand abstract art.Im trying to learning about art, but never fund anything about abstract.I have see many abstract paintings.I realy want to understand it, from an abstract painters eyes.What makes the abstract art live.Rigth now i see it as a lack of skill. It dont seem to have many boundrys.(if any)So I hope some of you can change my mind about it. ”

My answer.

I just don't understand abstract food. I mean what’s the idea of a candy bar? What does it represent? Now a chocolate bunny that's something that I can really sink my teeth into! I know what it is supposed to be and I find that to be a real expression of talent but a flat Hershey bar, what the hell is that supposed to be? Who can enjoy eating something so untalented?

And what about all those songs without words? How are we supposed to understand an abstract song? I think that that Beethoven feller was just one big phony!!! No words, no meaning. He was just pulling all our collective legs.
All those no talent phonies, especially that Satie guy and his wordless tone poems!!!!

What about all those drummers? Not even a melody. What gall!

What about all those stupid mathematicians??!!! The phony Baloney numbers scammers. I don't understand that kind of abstract stuff either!!!!

I think that books without pictures should all be thrown away their just way too abstract for my taste. I mean if there are no pictures how are we supposed to figure anything out. That Shakespeare was sure one phony feller with all them words and all!

But from my point of view the worst offenders are those internet people with them abstract names!!!! I mean why would anyone name themselves a number like NSR160? Now that's way too abstract for me!

Friday, January 13, 2006

under appreciated photo Posted by Picasa

Answers to Comments

My words gleaned from various answers to comments about my work at Art critique sites.

There is a certain roughness to what I am doing here and there is a certain anarchism in my aesthetic. I enjoy chance in Photography and I don't mind if things are not so orderly. I don't mind if heads are arbitrarily cut off or if the composition is chaotic.
Back in the 1970's Phillip Glass and Steve Reich came to talk at the Philadelphia College of Art. The Philadelphia Academy of Music was across the street. The academy students were invited to come hear Mr. Glass and Mr. Reich speak. Almost none of them bothered to come.
I think that many photographers are concerned with formalism and technique and that chaos is very disturbing to them
I make no pretensions of Artiness for this photo. This is a humorous document and not Art. If I wanted to make a perfect composition I would remove Tim’s sandals from the scene. I’d crop out the witnesses and the sculptures on the floor. I’d set up perfect lighting and restage the event. I could then satisfy your criteria for nice composition and nice lighting. But this is not “Art” it is a document of a real event. This is a famous qajaq which was built by a 17 year old Maligiaq Padilla when he visited the US a few years back. It is the qajaq that he paddled in the John Heath video on Greenlandic paddling technique.
The sandals are part of the story Tim had to take them off in order to get his feet through the tiny cockpit.
The picture was taken in the studio of minimalist Artist Richard Nonas. The clutter of steel slabs on the floor are sculptures. The witnesses are all important parts of the document. The vested bearded guy is Richard Nonas sculptor/anthropologist/qajaqer. The guy in the shorts is XL an enthusiastic new student to Kayaking (I use qajaqing to refer to Greenlandic boats and paddles otherwise I use the normal American/English spelling) with a voracious appetite for knowledge and skills. The woman in this group is Nancy Brous a lithe and fast paddler who is usually at the front of any group on a paddling trip. She is also a kayak polo player and the Cinderella who easily fit the qajaq in the next photo which I haven’t posted yet.
The details that spoil the Art are important to the story. This is a real event and not a staged/composed/Artstic picture. I am more interested in capturing the scene as it was then in making Art.

Monday, May 16, 2005

The Bar Mitzva of Yeshua Bar Yoseph Posted by Hello

Sunday, April 24, 2005

The Murder of Ananias Posted by Hello

Peter threatens Saphira with the feet under the door Posted by Hello

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Yacob the Evil One Posted by Hello

The races and demons from Yacobs evil mind Posted by Hello

White and Brown in the Germ Posted by Hello

Ship to Pelan Posted by Hello

A Plauge of White Devils Posted by Hello

The Mother Plane and her deadly baby planes. Posted by Hello

Discussion about Elijah Muhammad and the origin of races

My Strange Discussion with a NOI follower

Here is a link to a strange online argument with a Nation of Islam follower who calls himself Beanpie.
My pseudonym in this discussion is Baidarka.

Monday, January 31, 2005

How to turn water into wine

How to turn water into wine as a wedding party trick for fun and profit.

Fill an amphora ¾ to the top with wine. Then pour molten wax into the amphora to form a skin seal on top of the wine. Fill the rest of the amphora with water. At the wedding do not let on that you are a paid entertainer. Pretend to be one of the guests. Just as the party gets going have one of the servants announce “We have run out of wine!” Then have someone announce that you can magically fix the problem. That someone could even be your Mother, but that would be so very uncool. Act modest make the crowd coax you. Pretend that maybe you can’t do it. Finally you give in and announce that you will try to turn water into wine. First you order the servants to pour some liquid from the amphora into a cup (use clear glass if you can get it) Show every one that it is clear water. Get a trusted member of the wedding party to taste the water (a grandmother or a child). Get them to testify that it is water. Now you are ready. First produce a magic wand from under your cloak. Then wave the wand and say the magic incantations ending with the blessing for wine. After you say (please excuse my attempt at transliteration)“boray prea hagouphen” and the wedding party answers “Aaa-maaain” thrust the wand into the top of the amphora breaking the wax seal and stirring the water and wine together. Now you can say that “The Lord God has changed our water into wine, Let’s Party!”